Most Malaysians would have encountered the tales of Sang Kancil when we were little children from tales told in books, schools, and on TV. Malaysia has venerated Sang Kancil to the point that we have classrooms and schools named after it. What is not to like about Sang Kancil? Known in English as a mouse deer, it is a cute, tiny, precocious, and cunning little thing. This led me to think about Sang Kancil and how it has become both a national symbol and a personal guide to survival in a jungle dominated by bigger animals. What is not to like about the Sang Kancil? Yes, this space I have created feels safe for now but how stable is a space that is built on the foundations of lies? I played mental games in which I compartmentalised my gay self from my вЂњrespectableвЂќ self. Personally, I am tired of hiding and lying about my authentic self from my family. This has led some of us to hide our same-sex partners from our families, or even get into a straight marriage just to cover up. Coming out might lead to total isolation or even jail time. The societal cost of being openly gay is too high. This is especially true amongst the majority of the gay and lesbian Malay Muslims. We are so powerless and weak that we just have to be cunning, we have to trick others, we have to be smart. We exist by doing what we need to do in order to survive in a conservative society. I say to them that our sexual acts are illegal and yet we do exist. People in the UK often ask me is it illegal for LGBTIQ people to exist in Malaysia.

Kartun kancil